Those Scars
by SunsetRika
Summary: They were nearly healed, but one couldn't tell for sure if they would be permanent. What would be permanent would be that memory in front of his eyes. These feelings of guilt, distress, remorse and pity feel like they could be permanent. They're not. All you need is time and to talk. Rated T for language.


**Those Scars**

"_Natsu, stop! We know how you feel but -" _

"_GET OUT OF MY WAY LUCY!"_

"_Ahhhhhh!"_

…

_.._

_._

Way was it that those words still played over in his head? It was over a month since that happened and she was literally less than a foot from him. She was just sitting opposite him at a table in the Guild. Their home. She was smiling, engrossed in the story Erza was telling them about a mission she had just finished. Her eyes wide with fascination, her mouth agape when she hears some dangerous parts. Her were legs crossed under the table. He knew this because she would accidentally brush her leg off his once in a while.

There it was again.

Her attention diverted to him again, giving a sheepish smile and mouthing sorry before turning back to face Erza. When she smiled it was like everything was okay. It was now, but he still is getting dirty looks from Gray across the table sitting to Lucy's right. He'd never felt this frustrated. To accept such disappointed and disgusting looks from the stripper? He also accepted the punches and kicks he received before they decided he had enough.

But these looks were agonising.

His eyes were still set on Lucy. She looked stunning. The scar across her right eyebrow had finally disappeared and her face was as flawless as it had been before. Her hair was in her usual style, with her hair down with a tail pulled to the side with a blue ribbon. She wore a normal outfit of a black mini-skirt and a pink tank top. However, she had been covering up until today.

"_It's okay Natsu, it's not as bad as it looks. The swelling will go down and the col – wait Natsu come back you don't have to feel this way, I don't -" That was all he heard as he walked further away from the infirmary._

"Natsu!" He looked up. Three pair of eyes were on him. Did they ask him a question? He needed to stop daydreaming. He needed to let it go. Most people had. And Lucy seemed to not have anything on him from the beginning. Why was she like that?

"Hello, anyone in there?" Lucy waved a hand in front of his face which honestly irked him. I mean he's trying to drown in guilt here.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I hear ya Luce what was the- " Then he saw it…. again. He finished the rest of the sentence but was barely audible. His eyes diverted from her completely. He wished she had just covered her arms with sleeves like she had been doing this past month. He didn't need to see what he had done to her, he didn't!

Another conversation had carried on at the table once Happy had arrived to break the awkward moment. Natsu's eyes looked back at Lucy again who looked hurt and she was holding her arm under the table again. Great, not enough he had hurt her physically but now he's hurting her feelings. You are some best friend Natsu Dragneel.

He excused himself and went to sit at the bar, ordering a beer. It was only just past noon but it's not like he was the only one drinking. Mira had tried talking to him about it but he just sat quietly and sipped at his beer.

He still couldn't believe the marks were still so clear. It was just one of her arms. Her lower left arm was no longer as swollen. But it was still red. The skin itself had more or less healed. It wasn't ripped, infected and bleeding like he had last seen it. It looked more smooth, but she was burned. She was still burned and although one might say it look a little bad-ass, Natsu was disgusted. He put that there, he had hurt her and he couldn't stand it.

This was the first time he hurt a friend like that. This was the first time he hurt a friend like that. It was an intense mission. A lot of people could have died, and a lot did. They knew they couldn't save everyone. The very nature of this mission had Natsu riled up. He wanted to enter the enemy base immediately. 

"_I can't believe you guys can just sit here while that monster could be 'sacrificing' more innocent people," yelled Natsu. This was the umpteenth time he has said this. It was hard to just wait, but if they just waited until morning for another wizard who knew the enemy and his powers well, they would have a better fighting chance. They would know their enemy, what he's armed with, how many people are working with him and maybe devise a plan on how to exploit his weakness. They had so little information it would be risky for the four of them plus Happy to charge in there clueless._

"_We know where the hideout is now, so let's just go!" He was yelling at Erza now who was adamant on waiting for back-up. "We can't Natsu, so just drop it, we have a better chance this way -"_

"_WHAT ABOUT THE CITIZENS?" He felt two arms wrap around his right arm prying him away from Erza, trying to calm him. It was Lucy who told him to calm down and respect the group's decision. "NO Lucy! I won't. This is bullshit!" With that he stormed out of the cabin they were staying in and headed towards the base alone._

"_That fucking flame-head," Gray muttered before chasing him. "Damn it Natsu why are you like this!" with that Erza followed suit while Lucy and Happy left as well._

"_Lucy," Happy whined. He seemed upset with his eyes nearly teary, "Natsu is really angry and he won't stop." Lucy looked at him sympathetically. He was worried about his best friend. "We don't even know how powerful this villain is, I'm worried."_

_The two continued to head towards the base entrance, which was a cave not too far away. Erza and Gray were slightly ahead of them trying to catch the raging Natsu. "Don't worry we'll stop him for making this stupid mistake. I'll give him a piece of my mind if he thinks he's going in alone." She smiled. She was trying to give the little guy some encouragement. It's already been such a distressing mission. They've been there nearly three weeks and they had been dealing with disappearances from the area every day. Many people would die if they didn't do something. Everyone was on edge, especially Natsu, who just can't wait another second. _

_Happy appreciates her words and just smiles before continuing. _

"_You fucking pieces of shit!" It was Natsu again and as they approached the entrance to the base which was a hidden cave in the forest next to the villages, they saw flames flickering. They had no doubt what was going on. _

_It was a dire sight. It looked like a mass grave was being dug at the entrance by the guys Natsu had spotted. There were body bags on a horse and chart. Some people in this world were just sick. _

_Natsu had already given them a piece of his mind, and he would've given more if it weren't for Erza holding him back. Gray was inspecting the sight after tying up the two henchmen. It was such a numbing experience. Happy just stood there shaking. Poor thing, he shouldn't have to see this. It must have been even worse seeing his best friend going out of control. Natsu was absolutely raging. _

_Missions they had went on before had their struggles but they had always manage to pull through. Just like Galuna Island. It was a mystery, they were dealing with a serious demon, Gray encountered hardships and the villagers were distressed all throughout. But they pulled through. In the end they could all go back to their Guild and tell this story to everyone else while having laughs and drinks._

_This was not one of these cases. Nobody could laugh about this at all._

"_God dammit Erza, just let me go then, I don't fucking care if I go alone! Don't you get it, THERE ARE PEOPLE DYNG RIGHT NOW! HOW CAN WE JUST CONTINUE TO WAIT?" Erza had nothing to say. What could you say? People were actually dying._

_Natsu pushed passed a dazed Erza. He was really going alone. No. Lucy couldn't let him. Not in the state he was in. What if he made a stupid mistake and…_

"_NATSU cool it would ya," Lucy ran in after Natsu and got in front of him to block him from going further. "You're one person and there are hundreds of those guys down there we need- "_

"_Not you to Lucy, just move. Didn't you see what's happening?"_

"_What kinda genius plan do you have, you can just storm the place there are innocent pe-"_

"_WHO ARE DYING! NOW MOVE LUCY!" Her hands went to his cheeks to try and calm him. He never looked so distressed._

"_Natsu, stop! We know how you feel but -" _

"_GET OUT OF MY WAY LUCY!"_

_She didn't know what had happened until her head had hit the side of the cave. She saw everything in twos, then threes. There was a numbing pain on her arm and it was bleeding. There was a loud ringing noise in her head, and she heard Erza calling her name before she passed out._

_That couldn't have been Natsu. Right?_

But it was. With blind furry he grabbed both her arms with his hands and throw her to the side causing her to hit her head against the hard rock wall of the cave. Damage to her head was minor. Gashes above her right eye and she had a minor concussion. However her left arm required more attention. Natsu had lit his right arm in flames when he threw her aside. He had burned her. It could have been worse. But there were still burn marks even after a month. How long does it take for them to fade? Would they fade?

One glance and he realised he was receiving stares from his team mates. He had received enough of those over the last month. He chugged the rest of his beer down before leaving through the Guild doors, immediately.

He couldn't really remember what happened once he entered the base. He had taken down some enemies, but eventually he was bested. He used his magic unwisely, which was his downfall. The mission however was complete. The other Guilds around the area had shown up earlier than expected and succeeded in putting the heinous villains to justice.

Natsu had received awful criticism from everyone in the Guild, not only for hurting a fellow member, his _best friend, _but for acting recklessly in such a sensitive situation. He was banned from taking specific jobs for a few months. But he never cared about that. He only cared about Lucy. He still despises himself for what he did.

She had forgiven him so easily. The minute they saw each other after the mission, she smiled and said not to worry. But he doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself. No… he won't forgive himself for this.

His mind had wondered and before he knew it he was in a rather lonely South Gate Park on a bench. He found himself there alone a lot lately, there and East Forest. Natsu had been distancing himself a lot from the others, he just didn't feel comfortable. It was the first time he really felt lonely and uneasy with his fellow guild mates. And when he was with Lucy…. well you can only imagine it was awkward on Natsu's part anyway.

So when Natsu looks up to see his blonde friend standing right in front of him, he really has the urge to just walk off and pretend he didn't see her. That's what he has been doing lately, pretending not to hear her when they're alone. He felt utterly guilty and he knows there was no excuse for the childish behaviour but he felt suffocated in these situations.

"You look like you've just been through hell and back."

He looked at her bending over to reach his eye level, before giving a sad smile and joining him on the bench. "How have you been sleeping?"

"Ummm….. alright I think," it was then he noticed she had put on a peach coloured jumper covering her scars, "Happy really needs to stop waking me so early though, huh." It was so awkward, things were never awkward with her, things weren't meant to be awkward between them and yet after a month it still is.

Lucy just sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder closing her eyes.

"Um Lucy? What are you doing? Come'on." Natsu leaned in the opposite direction slightly flustered but Lucy still kept close.

"I've missed this. Just hanging out and being close to each other." Natsu tried again pulling away but Lucy wrapped her arms around his arm keeping him in place. "Enough Natsu. I've already told you not to feel guilty about anything. Why do you continue to act so zombie like. These scars….. they don't hurt anymore. What does hurt is you just avoiding me at all costs!"

She raised her voice. She really has had enough.

"Yeah Luce, well it's not an easy thing to forget, nearly messing up an important mission and BURNING YOU. I'm…" With his elbows on his knees he put his face in his hands.

He just could never get over this. He had knocked her out when he struck her and she had the scars to always remind her of what a monster he was on that mission.

He was just so angry!

So so angry. He just wanted to rip those guy' throats out for what they were doing to the villagers. People were _dying._

He had never been so enraged in all his life. His magic, his anger was just coursing through his body at an unbearable rate.

And then he unleased that anger on his friend.

And then he unleased the monster in him

Or the demon.

Natsu had then felt a pair of soft lips plant a kiss on his neck just behind his ear. "You're not a demon Natsu. Don't ever say that."

Did he say that out load?

Lucy had leaned over to rest her face against his neck, one of her petite hands was resting against his hands.

"It was only one mistake," her voice was cracking and it was clear she was starting to cry, "I- it doesn't make you a bad person, I – I don't know what to say to you Natsu because you just never seem to listen to me anymore," Tears had started flowing down her cheeks and onto Natsu's neck. "I've already forgiven you, and I don't mind that these scars may never fade, I just want you back Natsu. I can't stand to see you like this anymore."

He may have not let her words get to him before, but her tears certainly did reach him this time. Natsu leaned back pulling Lucy with him against his side and propped his chin on the top of her head. She was full on crying now.

"No, come'on Luce, please, please don't cry."

Like before, he just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a bastard lately, I swear it's not you. I'm just….. it's just that….. I-"

Yep, absolutely nothing good to say.

Lucy suddenly pulled out of his embrace and turned away from him on the bench. She felt embarrassed. To be reduced to tears like that… she sometimes just hates how brittle she can be.

"Why not just tell me how you're feeling Natsu. If this whole situation is effecting you then why don't you just come and talk to me. Or anyone, Gray, Erza, Gajeel, the Master? Because honestly dealing with this on your own is not getting you anywhere, and I've been patient Natsu."

"I _want_ everything to be normal again."

"Then TALK to me about this! Avoiding me won't get us anywhere."

She was right. He knew it. He knew that that's what it would take to get over this and he wish he'd had the balls to talk about it from the start. He just felt that he should've been alone, deserved to be alone at the time.

But he didn't think of how he had left her alone in this too.

"Yeah. Let's do it then." A smile. It wasn't his signature cheeky grin but it was a smile.

He was looking forward to getting things back to normal between them. Well not _normal._ Before the incident their relationship was teasing on more than friends. Two years ago was what their 'normal' friendship was. The two had become a lot more …..intimate. There was more physical contact between the two. Whether it was Natsu slinging his arm around their shoulder when they sat next to one another, Lucy subconsciously playing with his hair at random moments or Natsu hugging her from behind to greet her they definitely were more physical with one another.

Natsu had begun to see Lucy more…. as a woman. The innocent kisses he would get from her every once in a while would reinforce that. Yeah there was certainly more sexual tension between the two.

Natsu had decided he had had enough of this bull crap. His relationship with Lucy was important to him. He shouldn't let this drag out any longer, or they might just lose that growing spark between them.

If those scars remain, then he promises now that they'll be a reminder of how they just became stronger. 

**I'm kinda iffy on this one. I wrote half of the chapter one week and then like 3 weeks later I finished it off XD Not something I should do again. **

**I wanted to try my hand at angst, cuz I love reading it – writing it is so much different! I didn't want everyone sad and I made them both so out of character!**

**That being said PLEASE leave a review! It only takes a second and they really help me out **

**Till next time (maybe) XD**


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